would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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