This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
