Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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