You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
