What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
