Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
