Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
