yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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