UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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