If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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