i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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