So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
