Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
