I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
