He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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