cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
