i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
