beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
