hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
