Screwed.edu
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
How external is "for external use only"?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
