I CAN MOONWALK!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
