Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
