haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
