Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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