My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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