take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
