so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
