I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize