Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
