Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
