Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
