I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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