hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
