We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
