its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
