OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
