My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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