i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
COCAINE IS GR8
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
