just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
