Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
