YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
