Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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