Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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