Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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