Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
