I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
