college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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