I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
