you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
