he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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