Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Too much gin, very little bucket
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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