I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
