I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
