K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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