True but thats because hes a fetus.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
