That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
