Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
