Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
