You were right. It hurts to walk today.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
