Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
His nipple licking is glorious
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