what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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